Tony: When was the last time you discovered something about yourself that you embraced and stood by?

Thomas: It's a tough question. It's to do with being vulnerable, I think.

I want to be able to be vulnerable—but I'm not sure I can. I've been vulnerable so rarely in my life.

Recently, I thought to myself, 'am I really able to be vulnerable? Am I open? Would I cry and let go if...?'

I would, I think. 

But I'm also a dinosaur.

I've been successful as a director and chef in the restaurant business for many years, partly because I know how to utilise people's skills. As a leader, I've always managed people to reach a goal.

To that end, I've also found it easy to separate the personal from the professional. I once dismissed a chef, leaving people confused; 'he's such a nice guy?!' Yes, he was, but he was also unfit for the job. I realised he wouldn't work well within our small organisation, and I didn't want him to torture himself trying to fit in. I told him he could become the best version of himself elsewhere.

There's often little time to feel our way forward in the restaurant business. It's either A or B.

But—there's something between those two. The in-between. That's vulnerability to me.

My wife's been fantastic at making me see things differently. I vividly remember her asking, 'do you think your employees know that not getting scolded is the same as being praised?' 'Yes, everyone knows, I told her—and I thought to myself. 

But I later realised that most people don't.

Tony: You recently participated in a TV show and a social experiment where eight participants and three videographers must survive on an island for 14 days. How did vulnerability play out for you there?

Thomas: It was somewhat unusual for me. As participants, we weren't assigned roles or responsibilities in advance. So, I had to be open and not go into my usual mode of wanting to control things. The experiment was about something other than predefined roles and habits, and I had to adhere to that premise.

So, I exposed myself and was in a slightly vulnerable position. And that can be hard—especially when you're an old dinosaur like me, who've been taking charge and running the show my whole career.

Tony: What has the ability to be vulnerable given you?

Thomas: In all my years as a director and chef, I've loved my job. But some years ago, I suddenly didn't feel the same passion anymore.

Some time passed, and I met a person who asked if I'd start something completely new and use my skills in an entirely new way. 

To make a long story short, I'm now a gym teacher. Not only that, I'm a gym teacher who cooks for his students.

I've started a project I call 'Old men in new bodies' at a Danish spa resort, Kurhotel Skodsborg. I'm accompanied by middle-aged men who've spent a lot of time on their families and careers and who've forgotten themselves ever more so slightly over the years. I cook and use my nutrition knowledge, newfound passion and talent for training to spark change. 

These men often discover that physical training and caring for themselves to become their best versions feel incredible.

Tony: So, how did taking the plunge into the depths and away from your previous life and identity feel?

Thomas: It felt like admitting something to myself. Something that had suddenly become true after spending 30 years making my way into the exclusive club of the top ten best restaurants in Denmark. 

I was out—and motivated to get all out. I felt vulnerable. But I was doing the right thing. Just fucking do it, I told myself. Think of what you feel like doing—and do it.

Tony: How do you think you inspire other people?

Thomas: By doing things, I love doing.

Throughout my life, I've mostly loved what I do. So things usually come naturally to me, and so does working hard to become great, which makes me grow.

To me, growing as a person is an incredible feeling. But as I've become wiser, I've learned that growing also hurts—and that to grow, I need to be open and vulnerable first.